Social Software – Unintended Consequences at University
by Rob Paterson
Here is a typical picture of some friends at a university. One of the great outcomes of time at university is that one leaves not only with a degree but often with a small group of friends that last a lifetime. I was at Dalhousie University last week talking with the team who are responsible for Residence Life there. (Disclosure: I work for Dal) As we talked, we discovered that social software was actually undermining this key process. This was such an aha that I wanted to share it with you and to seek your advice.
I went to Oxford in 1969. I knew maybe 2 people before I arrived and was very nervous about entering the unknown. I was sure that everyone would be cleverer than I was. I was also uncertain about my new found freedom. I had been at a boarding school for boys since the age of 8 and girls were pretty mysterious. But there was no alternative to go out there and find friends. There were no computers. We were far from home of the cities where are school friends lived. Phone was very expensive. We had to dive into the pool of people who were there. I graduated 3 years later with indeed 6 friends who still are close. I am godfather to several of their children. We have buried our parents, gone to our weddings, commiserated over our losses and celebrated our successes. We will probably, at least send presents, to our children’s weddings and we will turn up for our funerals.
These friendships seem to transcend those made later from a shared neighborhood or a shared workplace. University gave us the time to stay up all night and dream with each other. To go on long and mad adventures with each other. To share food with each other for 3 years. To get to know our sisters! There was enough time and space to really get to know each other and no pressure to know someone because it might get us something.
I bet that for most of you, this is your story too. So what did I hear at Dal that caused me to take a step back?
That people don’t have to make friends anymore. That as a result, community is under threat. For what could a place become if those who lived in it don’t care about each other?
So what is happening?
The Iron Rules of Magic Numbers apply to us all. Our circle of intimacy is restricted to between 5-8. When you and I arrived at University, we left behind our “Best Friends” and we had no way of staying in the frequent contact that is essential to maintain the circle. So we created a new one – under such ideal circumstances – close proximity, sharing food, sharing work and adventure for up to 4 years – that we were set ofr life. Others may come in but this group would always be the ideal.
Now imagine todays Freshman. She arrives at Dal or Ohio State also maybe not knowing anyone. BUT her circle of intimacy, already formed at High School, is easily maintained by Facebook, My Space and a host of other social tools. She will have her most intimate circle of 5-8 filled. Why should she invest in strangers? Why should she care about the girl in the next door room even?
It’s not that people are not polite or pleasant. It’s not that friendship is dead. It’s that intimacy is less likely to happen. It is that university loses another key part of its appeal. It’s that keeping order has to rely more on official rules and less on social custom and natural order.
This is surely a huge revolution?
So dear reader, what to do if you are responsible at Dal for creating a Trusted Space where real community can flourish?
